The Golf News Feed
Question by Commodore: Affairs Of The Heart?
Affair No. 1.
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8pm. The man hurriedly dressed & told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass & dirt. He put on his shoes and went home. “Where have you been?” demanded the wife. “Honey, I can’t lie to you,” he replied, “I,m having an affair with my secretary and we had sex all afternoon.” She looked down at his shoes and said: ” You lying bastard! You,ve been playing golf!”.
Affair No. 2.
A mortician was working late one night when he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz who was about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part that he had ever seen! “I,m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” the mortician commented, “I cannot allow you to be cremated with such an impressive part. It must be saved for posterity.” So, he removed it and stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
Opening his briefcase, he said to his wife: “I have something to show you that you won’t believe”. “My God!” the wife exclaimed, “Schwartz is dead!”
Affair No. 3.
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time. The wife got pregnant and eventually delivered a healthy baby boy. The over-joyed father rushed down to the nursery. He was horrified to discover that the baby was the ugliest baby he had ever seen. He told his wife: “There is NO way that I can be the father of this baby. Are you sure that you haven’t been fooling around behind my back?” The wife smiled sweetly and replied: “Not THIS time!”
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Well guys, I hope that you all have a great day. I,m outta here for a while moving to LA from NZ, but will be back in YA in a couple of days. Luv ya all!
****Edit: It’s my pleasure, & thanks Darth.
**ADD** LOL! Okay styvies! It’s a done deal!
Best answer:
Answer by Darth Vader
Enjoy LA. Thanks for these jokes, they made me smile.
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Haha- very nice, thanks for the laugh.
All the best with the move, take care….
Hahaha……and enjoy LA!!!!!
Lol thanks good ones – i won’t say enjoy because moving is hard work, but take care and we’ll talk again soon
Lol, very good indeed. Thank you for the smiles and laughs. Good luck with the move to LA and hear from you soon.
Nice jokes!
Hope the move goes well!
btw: if i get the most thumbs DOWN, can i get a BA?
Schweet!
Hahahaha! I like the first one. Good Luck with the moving!
lol, that was great.
Good luck with the move!
Great Jokes
Great ones those, thanks Commodore. Have a great time in LA.
Great jokes. Good luck! Hope all goes well.